PAIN….It serves!

Last week saw the culmination of a journey that started almost six months back. A journey which for the first time made me question my readiness for it. A journey which for the first time demanded from me to expand my level of receptivity to newer levels. A journey which had such depths to experience, that till it got completed successfully, I was not sure if I would be able to get through with it or not. This was my journey of becoming a transformational coach.

Yes, the reviews of the work undertaken by me came from my mentor, and his words of acknowledgement designated me as a Deep Coach finally. It was not something which I could believe the very first time, I heard that. Such was the level of my apprehension about my own development, that it took some time for me to sink in.  But yes, finally I was able to smile, and laugh and be grateful to almighty for making me capable enough to complete the learning phase of this journey.

Why I am sharing it with you here today, is because of two reasons. One, obviously I wish to share it with all those who have been a part of this journey of mine, and have wished me well, and in fact believed in me much more than even I did, that I will sail through it. Heartfelt gratitude to each one of you. And the other very important reason is to share my biggest learning, which I feel can bring a change to anyone’s life, once it is understood rightly.

I am talking about the concept of embracing pain in life. One of the concepts I learnt was about enabling transformation by allowing pain to show up. In the vocabulary used during the course, it was called being with the pain. At first, I was not able to understand it completely. Though I always knew myself to not be someone who runs away from pain or labels it as something which is bad. In fact, I always thought of a fulfilled as one which has both the good and the bad, the happy times and the sad times, the fun, and the pain. 

But my understanding of it was limited to having a complete experience of life, and I always thought that pain brings with it certain experiences which help us understand life better. But to look at pain as something is serving, and which is constructive is something I never thought of. And to allow for the pain to stay and do its work, was nowhere close to any level of my conscious thinking at all.

What I learnt, discussed with my batchmates, and eventually experienced during the various deep coaching sessions, I was a part of as a part of my course, is that pain can be useful, and all we need to understand is how to embrace it, allow for it to be present till it wants, and thus creating space for pain to do whatever work it has shown up for.

Being with pain, and embracing it fully with all our heart, helps to unfold those hidden gems of our life, and ourselves, which are otherwise so well protected under the various cushioned layers that they never come to show up, and many of the lives eventually end without having experienced the fulfillment they deserved.

Last six months allowed me to practice holding space for extreme pain. Pain which at times people knew that they were carrying, and many other times showed up when the sacred space was created between myself and the clients during our deep coaching sessions. No matter what kind of pain it was, one thing which it enabled every time it was allowed to show up and not be pushed away, or tried to be cured instantly, was to enable a shift in the client at such a deep level, which neither me as a coach, or the client herself expected or anticipated.

I am very aware that this is such a deep concept, which I cannot speak about completely in this blog today. But despite of having decided about sharing on the same in a series of future podcasts, I found it appropriate to write about it in today’s blog, while sharing my happiness with you. I did not find it odd at all, to give space to happiness and pain in the same platform, and that in yet another example of shift in my perspective about what pain is and how it needs to be looked at and embraced in our lives.

I am sure that the podcasts that follow on this topic of pain will be found worth connecting by you, as and when I share them.

Stay Safe! Take Care!

DeepCoachRB