The art of Self-checking!!!

I have always been a fan of reflection and introspection. And I consider that as one of the reasons of me having seen all the ups and downs of my life, the way I have eventually been able to see them. I see a wide use of these two words in today’s world. And though I am confident of them being of service even if not completely comprehended as they should be, it also reminds me of the fact that the difference between knowing and understanding makes a huge impact.

This art of self-check is what I made myself to practice, when I encountered a situation last week which I did not expect to be in. Something revealed itself to me, and the very fact that my reaction to that revelation was not what aligns with my core, it warranted for me to get into the self-check mode, once the initial drama phase of the situation was over. By the drama phase I mean, the initial reactions and over-the-top thoughts taking over.

Anyways, the thing to be shared is not about what happened and what all was my initial reaction to it. Instead, the importance of self-check and not mere knowing of it but understanding it in its wholeness is what is significant for today’s brunch.

My practice of self-check made me feel grounded, move away from the immediate impact of the situation, and place myself in a zone where I was more connected to my own core, rather than what revealed itself to me. And it is this act of centering which allowed me then to regain my sanity, get hold of my composure, and be the way which reflects who I truly am, and serves what I truly desire.

Having reflected upon it for almost the last 6 days now, I understood that thankfully through my work I understand what the art of self-check is and how it must be practiced. Because mere knowing of these words, without the right understanding could have led to a little different but equally un-serving response from me.

Two key elements of self-check or reflection or introspection, no matter what word we use for this practice are non-bias and being open to vulnerability.

Non-bias. Without this the very essence of any self-check is lost. In fact, what it can lead to is an even concrete and dangerous level of denial to the actual realities. This practice if not completely unbiased, has a great potential to present as many excuses that may be needed to rationalize things in our own favor, even when that is not the case in actual. And because we have undergone the ritual of self-check, without having understood it completely, the feel-good factor adds to our confidence of being self-aware, and thus close ourselves to any signs of correction from outside.

Even before you get into the self-check mode, as yourself, what all can make you get biased. And the key to know here is that this bias can happen both for and against oneself. I have known both kinds of people, those who do everything possible to blame others, and those who get comfort in the self-blame game. Bias can play a role in enhancing and supporting both the tendencies. Being mindful and putting check to this before getting into self-check will make this practice even more meaningful.

A pre-requisite to being non-biased, is to be ready to be vulnerable. Vulnerability, generally regarding at putting oneself to risk, is about being totally open and receptive. Vulnerability allows us to embrace that which shows up for us during the process of unbiased self-check process. A rightful understanding of the words like reflection and introspection implies that one must be prepared to welcome everything, and anything presents itself, to do justification to the act of self-check. Shielding or guarding ourselves from something will not allow for the self-check process to be as it should be.

Being vulnerable makes sure that the most serving shows up for us, when we commit to self-check, and subsequently allows us to align with that which is our truest and purest version. 

My own belief in the advantages of doing self-check increases every time I undertake this process. And I hope that you will be able to do a check on your own way of reflecting and introspecting, keeping these two elements of un-bias and vulnerability in mind. Accept whatever shows up and do if there are any corrections needed in the way you check on yourself from hereon.

Happy connecting with yourself!

Stay safe.

Love, RB.