Author: coachrb

This Sunday brunch is going to be a shorter one, but a re-enforcement of one of things that I have talked about many times in my various thoughts earlier. I could have picked up any other topic, for the sake of being different, but then as always, I chose to share about what has had maximum impact on me in the last one week.

So, staying with my choice, I am going to speak a little more about the power of focus in our life. Last week has given me enough opportunities to be happy, and to allow some not so happy times to be a part of me. Whatever had to happen, happened as far as situations are concerned. And to be honest, I did allow some of them to be all about happiness for me. But I feel good, majority of the times that was not the case.

Anyways, the matter to be focused upon is not what happened, but how I reacted. And this is where my belief about ‘what we focus on, expands’, expanded. Things happened as they were supposed to be, but it was my own focus that created my realities, which was totally independent of what was happening around me.

There were times, when I allowed myself to sulk because of something not happening as I expected it to be, and thus became one with sadness. And then there were times when I chose to be happy and was being joyous no matter what. In both the scenarios, it is not that what was happening changed in anyway, but what definitely changed was what was happening to me. And when I took charge of my own focus, I became in-charge of my own reality, despite of whatever was happening around me.

What re-affirmed by belief in the power of focus is that there were a couple of situations, where I allowed myself to sulk because of my focus on the not so good things, and though the situations still lasted, I experienced a totally different space for myself, once I allowed myself the liberty to focus on the good things of life. And the most magnificent part of it is that my positive focus did not only change how I felt in that time, but It also made sure that the not so good times, either got shortened in their duration, or at least were not stretched in my imagination, beyond when they were actually over.

I said that this is going to be a short one, because I also am aware that I can go endless about my belief and experiences related to the power of focus. What my intent was today, is to share my recent most experience with it, and to hope that a recollection of this thought may become helpful to those who read in the week ahead.

Stay Safe! Love to all!

RB

Last one week has been nothing else but every minute a re-affirmation of my belief that good times in life, do not only come to those who deserve it, but also agree to come to those who are determined to create them for themselves. There was not one but many instances which made see again and again that how happiness, and joy can be created intentionally, without waiting for things to become easy or pleasurable by themselves.

I have seen this numerous times in my own life and have lately shared my experiences with my clients on this matter too. Which has also made me come across many sharing by people, who have been able to create ecstasy in their lives, for which they otherwise used to depend upon destiny or some developments, that could trigger happy times. Though the reasons for such a thought process, and way of living can be many, but generally the roots of this kind of passive attitude and belief lay in our cultural orientation or ignorance of the more fulfilling ways of living.

I know for sure that the innate desire for each of us to have a happy that is adorned with a big number of happy moments. The problem lies in we accepting everything otherwise as our fate or blame it on the timing of things. Both the habit of putting blame on things not happening for us and taking refuge under the excuse of timing is what eventually becomes a reason for all the wonderful times evading us.

Even though most of the people are often stuck in this dilemma, the good news is that it is one of the easiest habits or situations to come out of. All that we need to do is to have a strong resolve, not mere bouts of desire that come and go as quick as water bubbles. Wanting to be happy is what each one of us experiences, but generally that desire is the strongest in times when things are not going well, and as soon as there are better times again, we forget about our want to create lasting happiness. The success to be able to consistently create happiness in our life, lies in being constantly aware that we need to keep on being mindful about it at all the times.

I have been trying to do this in my life and have been partnering with many of clients on the same journey. And the biggest thing that I have realized is that creating happiness is an ever-ongoing process, which must and should never end. I have understood the truth about our desire for happiness to be as sustainable as we expect our happiness to be. Yes, I still do falter many times, and still am unable to create an all-happy life for myself, but what makes me feel good is that every time I fail, and allow myself to be sad, the awareness and desire to be even better at creating joy, gains strength within me.

In this journey of crafting happier times for myself, I have come across barriers both from outside and from within me. At times it has been about situations and other people, who I have allowed to become the reason for unhappiness, and there have been also many occasions when I have myself been the sponsor my own grief. This has made me realize that caution about possible bottlenecks, must be practiced not only with things outside of us, but even within our own selves, even though we know of ourselves on the path of creating pleasure.

I do accept that it is an ongoing journey, but what I also know for sure is that the fuel that keeps us moving onwards comes through each success that we taste in creating happiness for ourselves. Our belief of being in charge of our contentment, enhances every time we are able to pull some moments of pleasure our way. I have seen many of my clients doing this consistently, and the more they walk on this path, the stronger becomes their faith in the process of being the curators of their own happy lives. I agree that life will keep on throwing many challenges towards us, and not every challenge we will be able to create into a success. But the only by-product of failure that stays with us and has the potential of creating another failure for us is the sadness that we attach to it and keep it safe and secure in our hearts and minds.

I hope that we give ourselves a chance to be an owner of our own experiences and commit to ourselves to be consciously and consistently creating happiness for ourselves, and not merely wait for happy times to come our way.

Big achievements start with small steps. A test run to be able to create happier lives, can start with creating a happier week for ourselves. I wish you a week that is filled with happiness moments, created by you!

Love! Ritesh

Wow! What a week it has been. Life at its best. No, I don’t mean that everything was smooth, and happy, and at ease. There were the highs and lows, and yes there were easy times as well as challenges. But then that is when life is at its best. When it makes you experience all its shades. Immerse into all that life must throw at you and see what you are made up of.

The last seven days have been nothing but a blessing. I saw the happiest of the moments coming along. Felt proud of me and of the people with who I have invested my efforts. Had to steer through some challenges that pop through at times. Some things are yet to be achieved too and are running beyond when and how they were planned to be. But the very fact that I chose to express my feelings on this, means that I take it as a week that added so much value to me.

There was an interaction that happened during one of my coaching sessions, where the otherwise jovial and happy client came into the session with a grin on his face and was seemingly upset with something. Though the agenda at hand was something else, I could sense that whatever was running in his mind was not allowing him to make any progress during the session. Having put the question to him, if he would want to address whatever is running in his mind, to clear it and be in a better space to work on his agenda, he rightfully caught the idea, and thus started the conversation.

It was so much in sync with whatever was happening in my life too, that it felt as if my life was being mirrored by his, while he spoke of his experiences in the recent past. The only difference was that what I was calling a blessing, he was getting angry and frustrated about.

Keeping in line with the ethics of my work, I chose to not allow my perceptions to cloud his thinking in any manner. But then by the end of our session, I felt satisfied that what came up for him was the same thoughts of being grateful to life, and all its offerings and take them all in his stride to experience life to its fullest. I won’t go into detail about what all happened during the session, but this prompted me to share my thoughts about how life is meant to be looked at. And how a change in our way of looking at life, changes how we experience whatever comes for us in our lives.

I am not the one who would advocate being balanced in our emotions as the only right thing that we must practice. Yes, I agree that it helps us to look at things more rationally and may help us to sail through some challenging times in a much better and smoother way. But what I am also completely for is, to experience the highs and lows of life, with equally relevant emotions of happiness and being sad. It is in these emotional swings that we see life happening to us. It is these emotions that make us experience what we are. Not allowing ourselves to be happy when something good happens and get sad when we must acknowledge something has not happened well, is not what according to me is the best way of living our lives.

What is important is to understand that life will keep on offering us, all its various presents, and we must be gracious enough to acknowledge and accept whatever comes our way, and receive it with complete wholesomeness, to live this life to its fullest. We need to celebrate whenever something good happens to us and receive the not so good times with total acceptance of the emotion that we feel when faced with it. Denying ourselves to honour any of our emotions, is not what our life deserves, and demands of us.

Instead, what is required is to be stable, and understand that all such phases are temporary and be it good times or tough, our happiness or sadness connected with it, is as momentary as the situation itself. Thus, expecting us to be always happy or always sad, irrespective of what comes our way, is what disturbs the balance that we must have. Balance which we otherwise mistake as not being very happy when something good happens, and not getting sad when we feel bad about something. Accepting and acknowledging life as it happens to us, and responding to it with whatever emotion it deserves, is the best way of living that there can be. It not only helps us understand and experience ourselves better through our various emotions, but it also helps us be thankful for the roller-coaster that our life is.

I wish that we all keep ourselves reminded of the roller-coaster rides that we used to pay for, to get some thrill in our lives. And know the fact that life gives us a chance to experience that ride for free. All we need to do it to just be mindful and allow ourselves to embrace all that it offers.

Have a great week ahead, and live life to its fullest.

Stay Safe. Love!

Last night, I was asked a question about the two different thoughts that had shared in the past few days. The question was asked assuming that the two are contradictory, and though I am advocating not seeking only happiness in one, I have talked about deciding to be always happy in the other one. Though, I feel I was able to make her understand while she asked me yesterday, I thought it is appropriate to expand further into it, so that I present complete clarity on this to all.

The first thought talked about ‘We not living life to the fullest if we seek only happy times from our lives’. And what I exactly meant by that was the act of chasing happy moments. It is about that mad rush of only looking for things, places, people, moments, which will be able to give us the happiness that we all seek. What I have experienced in my own life is that the biggest irony is when we start to relate happiness to something which is outside of. It is trap, to be looking for and associating happiness to anything and everything which works like a happiness creating machine and works to provide us with some lighter and relaxed moments.

Unfortunately, what it does to not only make our happiness dependent on something or someone, but also most of the times, eludes us from believing that we can be happy without them also. It is in this very act of SEEKING, that we give ourselves the message of NOT HAVING. And the way it works in our system, is to not only to tell us that it exists in abundance somewhere else, but also make us believe that we lack it within ourselves too. This is the best representation of what is meant when it is said that ‘The grass seems greener on the other side.’

My thought above, mentioned about this very act of seeking happy times, which in fact leads to we being eluded of actual and lasting happiness, and thus not allowing us to live fuller and complete lives. Lives that comprise of all different kinds of experiences, but makes us capable of finding happiness in whatever situation we find ourselves in.

The second thought that was shared, a couple of days back, talked about everything which I mentioned above also. I experienced something in my own life, and thus as happens every day, my thought is either a reflection of my own life, or some insight that I gather from my coaching practice. Not that everything always is as we exactly desire in our life. Not that we will instantly always have everything, just like we want it to be. What we need to and must want to be is being a ‘happiness generating being’.

What I talked in that thought was to decide to be happy NOW and IN THE NOW. Which obviously also means that we must stop to make our happiness dependent on something happening in a certain way, or someone being a certain type. Happiness is something that should and must only be originating from within us. No matter what life throws at us, or what we have seen in the past, or even whatever we even assume to be happening to us in our future, our happiness shall be connected to that which is within us, is what we must all decide about. I have seen it for myself, and for many-many others whom I have coached, that the decision to be happy, not only makes us live the challenges of our life better, but eventually even starts to present us with more such situations that justify the happy state we are in.

Thus, rather than basing our happiness onto something which may or may not happen, a decision to always hang on to happiness, will bring to us from within us, that which we were expecting to be brought to us from somewhere outside.

I am all for acknowledging the challenges that come our way. At times in the form of people, and at times they are connected to things, what we must know is that what we seek from outside, already lies within us. And being happy is what we all are naturally made to be. Trying to be anything else, is making an extra effort to suppress that natural happy self of ours, which if allowed, will sprout on its own with no major effort.

I wish that each one of us, can decide to work on finding that happiness within us. There is no denying that it might have hidden itself deep inside somewhere, because of all the damage that we might tried to do until now. But the good news is, that it will still be unharmed, and will reveal itself in all its glory and magnificence, when given a supportive and loving hand to unleash itself.

And before I end, I want to thank this beautiful soul for bringing it up. It makes me have a feeling of gratitude, that what I share makes an impact on someone’s thoughts in a constructive way.

Stay Safe! Love to all!

It seems like these are days when people have entered a zone of being comfortable asking me to elaborate on something that I speak about through The Self-Accessment Initiative, either through the daily thoughts, or the weekly shares of the podcast and blog. Yesterday also the same happened, though the thought was shared late in the day, it did not take even ten seconds and I got three questions from as many people, which were like each other. And it was all about the ‘LETTING GO’ part of the part, and I was asked to share further on the same.

I felt it was all self-explanatory, and so when I got into a conversation with one of those who had asked me to elaborate, he asked me specifically about how to differentiate if letting go is the right thing to do, or do we let go of things too soon also, when we can in fact stay-on and make a difference? 

Now having got the question right, it becomes so much easier for me to share my thoughts on it. Though, if we look at the question itself, I feel it has answered itself through the words in which it was asked. Yes, there definitely is a too soon and too late, when it comes to letting go. And both will not serve the purpose, just because one did not give things a proper chance, and the other went on even when there was nothing that was left behind.

I have personally experienced both kind of situations and have seen multiple such instances happening with my clients too. And my belief, which has developed through my own personal experiences and understanding in this, always has been that no matter how bleak it seems, if there is a chance to make a difference by staying-on, letting go should not be an option that is allowed near to you. No matter if it is about a relationship, or a task at hand, letting go, when you still could have made a difference, and created something magnificent out of it, should not be an option that you must allow to have a space in your mind. All our focus must be on making things work, because if it has still not got over, there is a reason behind it. Whatever we have been involved in, be it a project or a relationship, does not deserve even the thought of letting go, because of the wonderfulness that it can spring up for us, having seen our best resolute self being given to it.

I am all for acknowledging the issues and challenges that crop up, but the very fact that they are seen and offer a sense of discomfort, is a sign of some work that it demands from us. Where many of us go wrong is to overlook that it is the problem or the issue, that brought the discomfort. And rather than ensuring that we work towards removing the very cause of the unease, we associate that challenge to the relationship, or task it itself, and thus start looking at them as the reason of restlessness. A pause, and a resolve to address that which brought in the discomfort is what is required, rather than letting go of what is so significant for us, makes our lives the beauty they are.

So, when does one let go? How to know that it is not right to let go of something or someone? Yet again, the answer lies in the word itself. We are not talking of pushing-away things or people here, the words we have used is let-go. And the only right time and reason to let go, is for and when something or someone, who wants not to be there anymore. Letting go in such situations is like, just opening the fist and allowing that which wants to slip away, slip away. Something that had already started its away journey from you, and it was being held-back, rather than staying on.

In a nutshell, Letting go should not be an option, for something where you see that you have a chance to allow something being created. Likewise, letting go is not an option, for something that does not exist at all. The answer to what stage with something you are in, lies within. All that is needed is for the question to be asked in all sincerity and truthfulness to oneself.

I wish and hope, that we all do not let go of that we have got for a reason and know of that which does not exist anymore.

Stay Safe! Love!

How much is too much? And how much is enough? This is one question that had been surrounding my mind for a few days until the last week happened. The last six-seven days have been quite nourishing as far as my evolution in my understanding of a certain aspects of life is concerned. I don’t know if I can still word the answer to above two questions in clear words, but the relevance itself of these questions has reduced significantly for me, in the week gone by.

Experiences of my own and yet again the coincidence of a couple of my clients also bringing up matters that were alike, ensured that everything in my universe was directing me towards, gaining a better understanding of this aspect of life, which about the feeling of having enough, or not being there still.

Not that all the learnings come very smoothly, and I have had my fair share of swings in how I felt during this process. But all that makes sense when I look back at the larger meaning of why all that happened, which happened. And why was this the most appropriate way of bringing to me the understanding of how much we need to make us feel complete. I have always embraced whatever life has presented to me, and I am yet again thankful for giving me all that I needed to present my most receiving version to what I came across while maneuvering through this phase.

Everything, and with absolutely no exception directed me to just one realization. And it is this one realization, that has been most satisfying as an outcome of the process that I went through. The only message that the universe gave me was that there is no right or wrong in whatever we get or have a particular point of time. The actual gap is in what we aspire to have and what we have a given point in time. It is this difference between our perceived or expected haves, and what we have got, that creates these questions in our mind and thus lead to many further leading queries. The gap between what we thought we should be having and what we have achieved, is what raises these questions of having got or having not got enough.

About five hours of interaction with two of my clients, and more than double of that much time having gone into my own reflections, made me clear about some aspects of this query. And it is that aspiring for more and more in our lives, if that is the truth of what we seek, is not at all wrong, but what is equally right is to accept and fully embrace what we have got at a certain point in time. It is this acknowledgement and acceptance of what we have, that helps us on our onward movement towards accomplishing exactly, and more of what we want for our lives. This onward movement tells us that we are on a journey to get for ourselves, what we aspire us to have, and the best way to keep on with that journey and achieve what we want to, accept what we have got till now, and consider it as a milestone or achievement, that is a part of what we are moving towards.

The only thing that can deter our movement and progress towards accomplishing what we aspire for is when we allow ourselves to get into a space of getting disheartened because of still not being there. We must remember that even though our projection of what we wish to target may be right, our calculation of by when we can reach there, may not have been completely accurate. And it is this gap that often derails the process of further development, and eventually deters us from keeping moving forward and achieve what we had set-out to.

Acknowledgment of where we have reached and accepting that there is still more that we aspire to have, is a normal way of keeping a check on our journey. But what we must not do is to expect things to happen exactly as and when we wanted them to be. 

I have gained this understanding, and I have experienced a mindset change in the two clients who I was involved with in a similar process in the past few days. The key is to acknowledge and understand that there is no right time or wrong time for things. These two words, right and wrong, is what we attach to the timing of something, based on our best assumptions and perceptions of whatever we can visualize. Much beyond this is a space where there just A TIME FOR EVERYTHING. And we must have faith and patience for that TIME, when the journey towards having something finally culminates and we share the space with what we aspired for. 

I hope wish that we all continue to aspire and work towards, what we feel is the best for us and that which our lives deserve. What I wish for all is that we keep embracing that which we get at any point of time and remain mindful that the journey is still on.

Stay Safe! Love to all!

Independence! A day that is celebrated today by our countrymen across the globe. Celebrations of having gained our freedom from colonialism fill the day with jubilance and cheer. I take this opportunity to wish my fellow Indians a very Happy Indian Independence Day.

What also comes to my mind on this day is, that like many other words that we take for granted, for being so commonly used, Independence also is one such word that needs to be looked at in its totality to understand it better. A change in perspective is required to ensure that we understand and cherish this true sense of liberation to its fullest. Every other day, I come across some experience or the other, where I find people binding themselves to a wrong notion of freedom. I must humbly submit, that at times, I am also one of those who fall into this trap of misunderstanding what actual freedom is.

Though independence as I said, is misunderstood in various forms by different people. One common gap that I have come across with most of the cases is of associating independence only to something that is outside of us. As soon as we think of freedom, as soon as the word independence comes to mind, our thoughts automatically go into a zone of getting free from something or someone that is outside of us. And though this is not an incorrect way of thinking, it surely is incomplete.

Freedom, or independence from anything that is outside of us, is a much easier and clearer thing to gain. Getting unbound from what is not a part of us, is the easiest of any kind of freedom that we seek. Though it does have its share of effort, and challenges, the very fact that it is something that holds us from outside, makes it possible to get unclutched, if we show some determination and grit.

The facet of independence, that we often overlook, and that which completes what true independence is, lies within ourselves. It is that invisible chain that ties us to our own conceived dependence on that which does not serve us but still makes us be a slave of. What is most important is to get free from all that we bind ourselves with. We all deserve to allow ourselves independence, from all those thoughts that may make us feel liberated but bind us within set boundaries of our limited view of the world.

My experience on this comes through several life-affirming conversations that I get the opportunity to have because of my coaching endeavours. And it strengthens my belief that no matter what immediate freedom and liberation something provide to us if we do not keep relooking at it and accept it to be our ultimate truth, we are allowing ourselves to be the slave of that thing. We all must continuously keep re-visiting our thought process and ensure that we evaluate our worldview from time to time. This process of checking if a thought that has served us for so long, still holds meaning in the new ever-changing realities around us, is what makes us liberated and free in the true sense.

Safety and security that we find in the tried and tested methods and thoughts of the past also holds the potential to become equally dangerous for us, if we do not adopt the practice of having a relook at them now and then.

Our experiences of life have a great potential to serve us and make us manoeuvre through the highs and lows of life, most efficiently. What we need to do is to have an independent view and mind, to review our experiences and choose wisely what to do with them, to have them be relevant and effective for us, even in the present times and in times to come.

This unshackling from our own conceived sense of freedom and security is what gets us real liberation, and allows us to keep being independent in its truest sense.

I wish that we all allow ourselves the freedom to look at the magnificence this life has to offer to us and understand that the biggest barrier to that happening is our self-created dependence. The dependence that is not connected to anything or anyone outside of us, but that which originates and is nourished within ourselves, by ourselves.

Stay Safe! Stay Free! Love!

A question was put to me last week. Something that has kept me thinking for a long time. And though exploring deeper into thought is a never-ending process, I thought that it is meaningful to share the insights I gained, through the Sunday Brunch, with my world. The question came through during a coaching session, where emotions were running high, and my client was able to make himself completely vulnerable. I see that as the most blessed stage for myself as a coach, as well as that for my client, who is almost ready to receive in such a state.

The question that opened the flood gates of thoughts for me, was a long one and was worded exactly like this. ‘For someone like me, who has always been able to achieve whatever I have planned for me. Why is it that I am not able to be satisfied, and always want more and more out of my life? How do I ensure that it does not get repeated in my life, and how do I break this cycle of raising new expectations?’

I heard that question, and I found a lot of familiarity with the concern shared by this client of mine. It was not the first time that I heard something like this from someone who I was coaching or even know in my personal life. Obviously in this context, for me in my capacity as a coach, I did what was most appropriate and helped the client to come out with his answers, through reflecting deep into himself. What amazed me was that the stuff he came out with, was so much in sync with what I also feel and think about this question at hand. That not only strengthen my own belief but also reaffirmed to me that amongst all our individuality, there are so many commonalities that we humans carry within us.

Coming back to the question of not being satisfied, and always wanting more and more out of life. My thoughts about this are very clear, and it is that both things are independent of each other, and the problem only occurs when we start to associate them together.

Let me pick up the not being satisfied first. Satisfaction or being dissatisfied is more about how we feel about something that we have or have not achieved. Satisfaction is about the sense of fulfilment we experience when we feel complete about having got or done something. It is only upon completion of a task or phase in life that we could gauge if what just passed by, gave us a sense of satisfaction or not. If we feel good about it, it makes us satisfied, and if otherwise, we might want to either try it again or chose to not be unhappy but still leave it at that. Satisfaction, or the opposite of it, is always related to one thing, and it defines how we feel about that which occurred or happened.

On the other hand, wanting more out of your life, is completely independent of if one is satisfied or not with what is around. I have known many people, who despite having achieved so much and being so satisfied with what they already have, still aspire for more out of their lives. And I also a huge number of people, who despite not having enough, and not being satisfied with what all they have been able to create, still do not feel the urge of seeking more from their lives. Some always strive for more, and then there are those who always think of having enough.

All these experiences have made me believe one thing very strongly, and it is that wanting more and more out of your life is not a bad thing, given you are willing to give it all that it takes. But it is equally important for us to feel satisfied and complete, with whatever life has offered to us till present. It is only when we feel grateful for what we have till now, we make ourselves and our lives much prepared for receiving and creating more than we may want for ourselves.

My client came to me with a life situation that according to him was creating confusion in his head and was binding him down. And though he went back with an exactly similar situation at hand of having achieved enough, I was so happy that what he carried back from the session with him was being satisfied with his current reality, coupled with his zeal to achieve more and more in his life.

I feel blessed that through my work, I can see people making huge strides forward in knowing themselves and meeting their core self. I hope that you also take some time out today and give present yourself a refection time to find satisfaction in what all you have and know what and how much you want from your life ahead.

Stay Safe! Love for all!

Love is a give and take! For how long can one keep giving love if it is not reciprocated? These are some of the statements and questions that were presented to me, coupled with requests of elaborating on my thoughts about the message I shared yesterday (pic above), as a part of my daily routine. Though I am very clear about my own thoughts about the matter, the very fact that these questions arose, made me reflect deeper into it, and see what generally triggers in majority of people when the word love is talked about. I even had some interactions yesterday, because I wanted to be sure of what I was developing as my understanding from my own thinking.

And all those reflections and talks, made one big revelation, which is that the very premise on which love should be based on is hugely misunderstood. Love, which is, and should be the purest form of selflessness, is vastly used as something that we either give to someone or take from someone. Something which was supposed to have nothing connected to outside of us, has become so much external focused that the very essence of it has been lost, and misunderstood by many.

Love is turned into a practice, which has thus become an act of performing and behaving in a certain manner, which makes us believe that it is something that is getting transferred or transmitted from one to another. And just because it is being given out, there comes an expectation of it being received also. Making others feel loved has become an area of responsibility, added to so many other responsibilities of the worldly matters out there. Feeling loved is no more based on something which is all inside of us but has become dependent on what we receive from something or someone outside of us.

All this and many other such thoughts about this most beautiful gift that we carry within ourselves, made me realize and understand why such questions and statements were presented to me. And I just could not tell myself to delay it beyond this Sunday brunch and talk on this sometime else.

Love is what we are all about. Love is what originates and grows within us. Attraction, liking and appreciation for something or someone, can be dependent on things that are external to us, but I don’t know of even one person who could be made to love someone, unless it did not originate from within their own self. And just because we as humans are most distant from our own selves, we find it easy to assign an external motivation to the love that we feel towards what is outside of us. And this very reason of having assigned the cause of love being originated because of something outside of us, becomes responsible for love to either grow or diminish because of external factors.

Most believed to be such in the case of human relationships, we believe that the love we feel someone is being given by us to them, and thus in return we also feel that it is either being given back or not reciprocated. My various experiences of my own life and of those that I have been blessed to be a part of, has made me understand that what we call love within us, never leaves us, or goes to someone else. It is a feeling that originates within us, grows within us, and then thrives within us only, making us a person who is affectionate and caring towards others. Likewise, there is no love from anywhere outside of us, that enters within us, and makes us feel good about ourselves and feel loved. What we know of as love existing between two individuals for each other, is simply love that exists within two individuals.

We are neither the givers nor takers of what love is. We are where that love is born, and we are where that loves flourishes. And in some cases, if it does not serve what we are, we see that the same love ceases to exist also. All that we do is to assign a reason to it which outside of us, to not bend our perception of what love is all about.

Feeling in love with someone, is what is completely an independent feeling of ours. Likewise, others also have their own respective feelings to feel that love for us or not. It indeed is a beautiful thing if these two independent feelings complement each other. What it creates is an environment within us where our own love grows and is nourished making us more loving and caring. But while it must be cherished, it should not be dependent on anything external. The question of reciprocation arises, only when something is given out or done, for love that JUST HAPPENS, there must be no dependency on anything to support it to stay and thrive.

If there is any give and take in love, it is about GIVING ourselves the acknowledgement that we carry love within ourselves and TAKING pride through ourselves that we allow it to grow and flourish within us.

I sincerely hope that we all acknowledge what love truly is and understand all its magnificence that gets created within us, when we understand that it is independent of anything or anyone, that is outside of us.

Soak into this lovely feeling of being the love!

Stay Safe! Love!